So, dA once again deleted all my visual art. But this time they took it a step too far. They deleted my ID, which was specifically made for me as a gift from jaguar089. He drew it for me. And they deleted it. They did this the same day that my back-up drive broke, where my only copy was. So now it's gone.
What does this mean? Simple. It means that I will no longer ever submit any artwork to dA ever again. I won't even submit poetry anymore. Hell, I don't write anymore after moving on to visual art. But dA keeps deleting my art calling it copyright infringement. I've tried again and again to explain to the big dogs of dA that my artwork is mine, even sent proof multiple times, but they don't listen. It takes at least a week for them to ever get back to me. It isn't worth the fight when there's so many other great art sites that don't delete all my shit (even when I actually still have the multi-layered photoshop file.)
I will still come here constantly because there are many good artists that I stalk on here. But if you want to know where all my walls and art went, then you just gotta ask me. I'm still making shit... just never EVER submitting it so that the nazis of dA can just lie and delete it. And since it seems someone is just going through my shit reporting everything as copyright infringement (malicious piece of shit...) I'm not just gonna post my other art sites.

I leave for basic training tomorrow. I am extremely nervous. I feel like there's still so much I must do before I leave, but I don't have any time left at all. Oh well.
My ex-roommate (and ex-friend) Griffen is still starting shit. We asked him to move out until I left because he was very violent and rude to me. Twice he threatened to hit me, and once he actually got physical. But back then I couldn't do anything because he was on the lease and I wasn't. Now he's talking all kinds of shit to everyone that he had left as a friend. He is saying that everyone has turned against him, that we are going into his room and messing with his shit, that everyone is talking badly about him. He says "None of you even talk to me." so then how would he know we're going in his room and messing with his shit? We're not of course. He's got some seriously paranoid delusions and he does act on them. He is also saying that Josh (my hubby) and I betrayed him and that he doesn't want to move back in with Josh. But he didn't tell us any of this...oh no...we had to find out inadvertently. That is quite fine with me considering the kind of person he is. He is violent towards animals, once smashing a cat's head against a tile wall for scratching his son....who was really asking for it. I got a better idea----supervise your young child around animals. He is also quite the questionable father. He never supervises his son because he's too busy playing video games and smoking pot. If the child sits in the livingroom watching TV peacefully, he gets no attention....none. I know a child will choose good attention over bad. But they will also choose bad attention over none. So the poor child has unfortunately learned that the only way to get attention from daddy is to do something bad. Griffen also has no job, won't get one, and so will not help out with the bills. But he will demand that everything in the apartment go exactly his way....right down to how far against the wall the dining table is placed. Can we say control freak? I guess we can. I don't know what Josh is going to do. Or how far Griffen will go to hurt Josh due to Griff's paranoid delusions. Josh is kind of upset because Griffen said some very cruel stuff about him. I don't know and I don't care anymore. When Griffen is here, our cats will be safe in my bedroom....where Griffen is not allowed under any circumstance. Worst case scenario is Griffen makes Josh lose the apartment. In that case Josh would move in with his mother until I get my permanent station. That would actually save Josh money on bills, so nothing can go too wrong. I feel sorry for Griffen. He's 31 and still a complete loser leech. There's no way he will get any better if he doesn't quickly start taking some responsibility. He knows this, and rather than face up to what he's done to his life, he just gets angry and takes it out on those friends that have tried for so long to help him. Right now the best thing all of his friends can do is refuse to let him mooch. If Griffen gets no free room and board, then maybe living on the streets will make him realize he has to take care of himself. It worked for me. I know when I was homeless that it wasn't my fault. But I also know that it gave me the best lesson I've ever learned = take care of yourself because you are the only person who you can rely on totally.
We got a new kitten the other day from a neighbor that couldn't take care of her. We took her and my cat to the vet, and got them the works. My cat has a problem with her ear that will require her ear to be flushed twice a week for two weeks, then another vet trip. I wish I could stay to make sure it is all done well and right. I don't want to leave tomorrow. Basic during the peak of summer heat is really gonna suck. But this is the best step I can take right now to ensure that my future will be the best it can be. I will miss you all. I won't be on the net for quite some time. Josh will be signing in and out of my e-mail so I won't lose any of those. Love all ya!

I have tried so very hard to work with my ex-husband on so many things. During our marriage he did drugs behind my back almost every single day....even getting addicted to a few quite a few times. When I told him that I wanted a divorce, he kicked me out instead of being a man and leaving. Then he barely allowed me to get even a few of my belongings. He sold the rest or stored them at a friend's house. So recently he agreed to pay me back for all the drugs he did during our marriage. He also agreed to pay me back for my checks that he stole and cashed. He even agreed to give me half the money he made from selling MY belongings and even promised to give a few of my belongings back! Total he would be paying me $9600. I was supposed to let him tell his friend with my things that I was coming over. So I go to call him at his sister's because he has no phone. That redneck slut was extremely rude shall we say. Then I get a call from my ex-husband's brother this morning. David is a good person, the only one in the entire family. We talked for quite some time. Apparently Demian had no intention of ever calling me back so I could get my belongings back. Also, he had no intention of ever paying me anything that he owed me. In other words, he isn't even sorry for how he treated me during our marriage. He even told David that he was happy because yesterday I got arrested for going over to his friend's house and trying to get my belongings. He had all kinds of details like I have to go to court in 20 days so the army is pissed at me. Um.....I was home all day yesterday except for some grocery shopping.

Argh. That motherf**ker just called with more lies and excuses. He denied ever saying that shit....as I knew he would. He says that his friend threatened to call the cops if I showed up. I think he just fantasized about the possible outcome until it was a reality to him. He is a pathological liar with delusions of grandeur after all.

Every day I am so happy that I left him. Every day I am so glad that I married Josh. Josh is the opposite of Demian.....except they are both intelligent....but Josh is smarter.

Demian is ugly...dentures, short, hairy, stringy hair.
Josh is sexy....damn nice body, thick hair, great teeth, lovely hands.

Demian lies every time he opens his mouth.
Josh not only never lies, but is always saying interesting or funny things.

Demian never understood me.
Josh gets every single one of my jokes, and thinks they're funny. He understands when I'm saying something unintelligible.

Demian is a drug-addict through and through....unchangeable.
Josh and I got together just as he was giving up pot. He wasn't giving it up for me, but rather because he recognized it was time to grow up. He did give up cigarettes for me because I quit smoking and his mother told me horror stories about some of his blood relative's smoking.

When Demian says he's going to do something, he's either trying to buy time or he's trying to make you like him.
When Josh says he's going to do something, even a simple "I owe you one" is held to the utmost standards. Everyone says that Josh is a man of his word.

Demian spent time with his drug-buddies.
Josh cuddles with me constantly. We lay on the bed and watch movies constantly thanks to our Blockbuster membership. We sleep in eachother's arms...until one of us starts snoring. The only reason I can type this without being interrupted every ten minutes with kisses is because he's asleep right now.

Demian never stood up for me. He sat by and let his friends disrespect me rudely both behind my back and to my face.
Josh won't let anyone treat me cruelly. He even kicked out a roommate and told them not to come back until I left because said roommate treated me very unkindly.

Demian lives for now...."How can I get high now? What feels good to do right now?" He doesn't care how much he destroys his own future.
Josh plans for the future with me. His plans are reasonable and he actually works to carry them through. He is already apartment hunting a little bit. He has made plans on when to buy a car, about how much we'll have to buy it, and where he'll buy it. When I make a budget, he actually looks at it. He makes adjustments to it...showing that he actually has interest. He says "OK this will work" or "Now what else do we need to do? Here's an idea..." and stuff like that!!! He budgets. I don't have to go this alone!!!

Someone warned of not comparing my ex-husband to my new husband. But when they found out the differences between the two they said "Wow....compare away."

My relationship with Josh isn't 100% perfect. If it was, I'd worry that I'm deluding myself. But it is 98% perfect....I mean, HE is 98% perfect! But what makes him so great is that he fixes his own mistakes...and he doesn't invent new ones. The only thing is....he's a great cook and all...but Jesus Christ, does he make a mess in the kitchen! And he never cleans it! But if that's all the worries I have, then so be it.

But anyway...enough ranting....I feel better even if no one reads this....besides....Naruto finished downloading.

You guys are just gonna love this.

About a week ago, a thug came to my door at 1:30 in the morning trying to sell us pot. A few days later I was walking to my mailbox at the other end of the apartments. When I passed another young thug, he offered me drugs. Quite frankly this happens constantly. And quite frankly I was sick of it. So I got right up to his nose and said "If you ever say that again, I'll kill you." Yes, I know it was stupid, but I'd just had it with these wannabe's. Since then I cannot go to the pool, the gym, or the mailbox without a group of thugs threatening to kill me and my "nigger"......oh yes....they called my husband "nigger". So yesterday, I brave the scene thinking noon was too early for these hooligans, and I go to the pool. But on the way back some stop to talk to me. These were different people that had never harassed me, so I talked with them a bit. I told them that I don't appreciate being offered drugs, and then we talked about other stuff....nice people. But then the thug that threatened me joined this group, so I left. Twenty minutes later, two people knock on my door and offer to sell us drugs. We say we don't do drugs. They say "Yes, but the guy with the bad foot told us to come back here." and we say "Sorry, but only the two of us live here and our feet are fine and we don't do drugs." When we shut the door, the third thug hiding in the outside hallway reveals himself. When they go down the stairs they are joined by two more thugs....one of which is the one that keeps threatening me. I'm no fool. They were trying to jump me or my husband. So, I call the cops. I figure if I make a report, then if anything happens to us they'll know who to go to. I see through the window the car they got into, and read off the liscence plate to the dispatcher. The cop comes, talks a bit about how bad the neighborhood is, then leaves. This morning I decided to tell the apartment manager about it. I'd already reported the corrupt security guards who allow the thugs to sell drugs and gotten them fired.....go me. On the way to the office that damn thug threatens me again!!! I can't even get to the office to tell on him without him being stupid!!! So the apartment employee and I are walking around looking for him. I'm showing her all the drug spots where the new security cameras and security guards should go. I showed her the apartment where they're selling the drugs from. She's writing lots of stuff down. Then we pass two thugs...one of which is the damn culprit! He just can't go away! Well, she yells at him some. He says it is all because I threatened him. To keep the peace I explained myself and told him that I am sorry for threatening his life, but I'm sick of being harassed by drug-dealers. He shook my hand and later said we "were cool." But I did tell him that we were only cool if he left me and my husband alone. I don't care what he does in his home, but quit polluting my neighborhood. So then the apartment employee and I go back to the office to call the cops. When they get there, we all decide that if he ever offers to sell me drugs or threatens me again, the apartment complex will evict him and everyone living in his apartment. The cops went to tell him and his group that exact statement. Don't mess with the crazy white girl and you won't get evicted. It is that simple. God, I hope this war is over. I hate this neighborhood so much. Birmingham was safer. At least the drug-dealers there didn't harass innocent people.

Isn't my life exciting?

I don't have much time, so I'll just copy/paste a general updating e-mail sent to my friends and family.

As most of you already know, I've been considering the army for quite some time. Well, Thursday I went down to MEPS and took my physical and other evaluations. After everything was done, I went to sit with a job councelor. Funny story:
Job councelor: "What jobs are you interested in?"
Me: "Animal Care Specialist."
Job councelor: "Well, give me two others in case I can't get you that."
Me: "No."
Job councelor: "Umm....what?"
Me: "I'm not signing a 4 year contract for anything else."
Job councelor: "Well, what if I can't get you that job? It is hard to get."
Me: "Then at least I got a free hotel room last night."
Job councelor: "Go take a break and tell me two other choices."

While I'm eating lunch, my recruiter goes up to the guy and says if I don't get that specific job, I'll leave and they'll lose me. I scored a 95 on my ASVAB test, passed the physical and background check with perfection, had stupendous grades in high school, and have enormous amounts of experience when compared to other applicants. When I went back they tried so hard to stick me with a medical job, even brought out the higher bonus and lower commitment. I stood firm. The councelor told me that the job still just plain old wasn't available. So I told him that in that case I'll just wait until it opens and they can call me if they want me. I would just go back to MCI making $4000/month until then. He made one 10-minute phone call and now I ship off July 12th.

My basic training will last the standard 9 weeks and will be in Missouri. Then I go for 12 weeks to Advanced Individual Training (AIT) in San Antonio....only two hours from where I live now!!! After I finish AIT I will get my $5000 sign-on bonus. Then a week's vacation. Then I will be stationed for the remainder of my 4 year contract at one of three places I get to pick. Killeen's base is only an hour from here, and they have an on-site vet and horses. But everyone says not to pick it because it is boring and it sucks.

My late ship date affords me the time I need to complete my divorce and marry Josh. This will give me an extra $800-1200/month and let me live off-base after AIT with Josh and my cat. I have itchy feet and feel the need to leave Texas for awhile. And Josh has never lived outside of Texas and wants to attend college in another state. Josh got a $5000 check for his settlement and will get another $5000 in August. He also still gets his $1000 a month for another two years. In other words, all of our debts are paid off and all of our bills are covered. Yesterday I got a $630 check from my job, and even though I quit this week, I'm expecting another check in two weeks for about $500 or $600 because of late bonuses. They pay bonuses late. The army gives you your first paycheck upon arrival, so that'll be over $2000/month right off the bat.

Of course I'm gonna go the Montgomery GI Bill route. I pay them $1200 over a year's time, and they give me $3600 when I'm out of the army for college. Sweet deal. Josh and I will be saving lots of money so that when I'm out I can pay for college without student loans. I also plan on taking a small amount of college while in the army because then they'll pay for everything but books. There's also one option that gives me a free state-of-the-art laptop, printer, and fax machine if I do 12 hours of college credit in a year's time....no problem!!!

So, everyone, don't worry about me. For the first time in my life I'm doing everything totally on my own. I'm not relying on anyone at all. And I've taken the first huge step on setting up my future, instead of just making it day by day.